Posts Tagged ‘ Dress

Weird 8-Bit Fashion

I have been extremely busy this week so I have not had time to post my usual bi weekly so I shall post some weird 8-bit fashion pictures instead :).

Weird 8-bit Fashion Weird 8-bit Fashion
Weird 8-bit Fashion Weird 8-bit Fashion
Weird 8-bit Fashion Weird 8-bit Fashion


Make of that what you will…

Pretentious, much?

I recently went for a job interview at a very swanky fashion boutique (of which I wasn’t successful) and one of the labels that they featured was ELLERY. Now I am not here to burn my bridges, not in the slightest, but in my research on ELLERY has filled me with nothing but disgust for the fashion industry and all the people in it.

There are three big reasons why I am opposed to ELLERY.

E L L E R Y E L L E R Y E L L E R Y

The first is obvious as soon as you have the displeasure of stumbling upon the official website: it has woeful design and art direction. If you have a look at the current collection (and previous ones for that matter) all you see is out of focus photography; use (or overuse in this case) of nudity where it really wasn’t necessary (or can really be explained); and the shots are so ‘artistic’ that you have no idea what the clothing is or even what it looks like.

The second and third reasons tie in with each other: the price and the fact that these items could quite easily be bought from Target. The items, from the tops to the dress, are so incredibly generic it really stumps me to how ELLERY has gotten away with it – I thought high-class designers were supposed to start trends, not sit comfortable in the established. Plus the prices of these item is embarrassing: a pair of leather ‘shorties’ for AUD$1205; a very basic ‘tuck dress’ for AUD$445; a tee with leather sleeve insert for AUD$305; and the list goes on.

Freya Shoulder Tuck Dress Gynecoid Summer Leather Shortie Olivia Crepe Tee with Leather Sleeve Insert

I really do pity the people who way full price for these items – what do you get in return?

Pino…

‘Hippy’ is the New Black (Apparently)

According to the New York Post, this Summer’s beachwear (the northern hemisphere’s at least) is all about looking like a ‘hippy’. Not that I have a problem with hippies (except vegans, well, vegans in general), but from the pictures that were published it just looks like an excuse to wear your mother’s hand-me-downs, making special consideration not to pick anything that goes with anything else. I’m also curious to how my mother’s hand-me-downs are suddenly considered ‘hippy’ because she surely was not (it would definitely make the stories at Christmas a lot more exciting if she was).

Hippie-inspired summer beachwear perfect for tanning and drinking cocktails - NYPOST.com Hippie-inspired summer beachwear perfect for tanning and drinking cocktails - NYPOST.com

As you can imagine with any accepted fashion trend, the clothing and accessories related to it are never cheap, and this ‘hippy-inspired’ beach party is no exception. Giuseppe Zanotti sandals for USD$1,041; Limpopo necklace for USD$350; Nanette Lepore Skort (what the hell is a skort?) for USD$99; Jean Paul Gaultier tunic and bikini for a cheap USD$390 and USD$295, respectively; necklace from Patricia Field, USD$72; Hei Hei shorts for USD$58; the list goes on and on. And you can see just like I can, these are not fancy items, they’re crappy bits and pieces that look like they were made by some girl with too much hair in too many places that only bathes in the ocean, wears nothing but frangipanis in her hair and whose name is Experience. Come to think of it, I remember making one of those necklaces for my mother for mother’s day in art in primary school.

Hippie-inspired summer beachwear perfect for tanning and drinking cocktails - NYPOST.com Hippie-inspired summer beachwear perfect for tanning and drinking cocktails - NYPOST.com

People will pay though, people will pay.

Pino…

Bows

If there is one thing a guy should never be associated with in regards to his own fashion is bows. What we do like to be associated with though, is cute girls wearing cute bows. Now I am well aware that I am incredibly feminine, but even with that psychological affliction of sorts, I still have no idea about lady’s fashion and so this next bit is purely from what I think is cute and in no way represent any kind of actual fashion advice.

Ami Clubwear (USD$27): Black Faux Leather Bow and Straps Heels - Ami Clubwear
Newport News (USD$59):Ruffled Bow-Trim Little Black Dress - NEWPORT NEWS
Journee (AUD$60):Anne Michelle by Journee Women's High-heel Boots - Overstock.com
Aspeed Designs (AUD$116):Aspeed Women's Red/ Black Pleated Skirt Party Dress - Overstock.com
Prada (in keeping with ridiculously overpriced crap from this company – USD$420):Prada black cutout patent leather bow flats - BLUEFLY
Mia (USD$30):Bow Tie - Gray - MIA
Jessica McClintock (USD$23):Satin Clutch Slope Flat With Bow And Rhinestone Buckle - Jessica McClintock
Fairy Goth Mother (I know it’s expensive, but it’s so CUTE – GBP£275):Amazing steel boned bustier corset with halter straps - Fairy Goth Mother
Valentino (wow, do the sweat shop kiddies see ANY of this money? – AUD$1039):Valentino Lace Bow Clutch - NORDSTROM
Ignite (AUD$62):


Pino…

*gaping mouth*

I know this is generally male orientated ‘fashion’ blog; I also know that it’s a male ‘fashion’ (I use fashion in quotes because it’s quite obvious that I have no idea about fashion past knowing all the words to the David Bowie song) blog that reports on cheap and affordable items of clothing; but sometimes you see something that makes you a) wish you were a woman, and b) had so much money to spare. The item in question is this:

In the words of Bowie, “Wham, Bam – thank-you you mam!”. At an ‘affordable’ £340, before shipping and the rest, it’s not something you’re going to be buying as the mood takes you (if it is than you either have way too much money to throw around or need to get some help – you have a problem). Luckily for those of you who live in the lovely UK you get awesome free shipping for items over £100, which is somewhat of a consolation I guess.

I know I make a lot of jokes on here in attempt to sugar coat my chronic cynicism and to cover up the fact that I really have no idea what I’m talking about, but I am deadly serious when I say that after looking through the catalogue at Fairy Goth Mother I really do wish I were a woman. Their dresses, corsets, lingerie, gowns and all items in-between are all cute and adorable, sexy and seductive, sensible and provocative, and sometimes all of these things at once.

Super full lined petticoat skirt and corset - Fairy Goth Mother Simply wonderful formal skirt in silk with bow detail - Fairy Goth Mother

For those of you who aren’t made of money there are some pretty impressive savings on the older items (some by £200 alone) found under the clearance section of the website. So much sigh, so much sigh.

Pino…