Archive for April, 2010

Sunglasses, Face-Shape and You!

I’ve covered breasts so why not cover the most accessible accessory, sunglasses! Most people don’t realise this but your face shape plays a fairly big role in what sunnies you should be donning to look your best.

Triangular/Heart face:

    You are best going with some glasses that are curved on the top with an enhanced lower frame; the rounded edges will work wonders in balancing a wide forehead and smaller chin.

Square Face/Strong Jaw:

    The styles for men and women differ a bit for this one but are as follows: guys are going to want to go with sharp angles (preferably clear) to give your face a stronger and edgier look; women are best going with curvy sunnies to compliment your angular jar – cat’s eye or nice round pair would do wonderfully.

Chanel Sunglasses 5018 | MODERN JAP
Oblong/Long Face:

    Think thick and you will look good. Hatch sunglasses with vintage or something a little bit more decorative work great with your face type. Generally, anything with round or rectangular lenses that are encased in oversized frames are going to hit the spot for you.

So there we are, simple tips for simple people :P.


Who Said Honesty Never Pays Off!

As you know from this post, and a bit from this post I love and adore Fairy Goth Mother, to the point that I wish I were a woman (sometimes)! Well, just earlier this week I found one of their corsets on eBay for a very reduced price form some unknown seller claiming it was their own brand and brand new. I did what any pain in the arse would (and trust, I really AM a pain in the arse) and contacted Fairy Goth Mother (I love seeing people get their justice, whether it’s a rapist or murderer or some guy on the side of the road sucking on a speeding fine – it’s a fetish). Today I received an email from John of FGM thanking me greatly and gracing me with a generous gift voucher :).

So there we are kids, do not believe those Hollywood movies, honesty is the best policy!


Breasts, Body-Type, and You!

It’s true, I have no idea what it is like to have breasts, but as a happier observer of many years now I know what looks good and what looks terrible. The truth of the matter is, a lot of woman either wear rose-coloured glasses or the complete opposite, thinking that they look a lot worse than they really do. How can one ever dress to look good if they are not comfortable themselves with their own body. Too big? Too small? Never look good in the tops you own? You can always look good with what you wear, you just need to be wearing the correct clothing. If you have massive breasts try V-necks, or even better, a black V-neck, to split your breasts so they don’t look like one all-empowering mono-boob and the black, as any half intelligent person knows, to make you look a lot slimmer and smoother than you really are.

Then there’s the constant debate on stripes, yes no, only horizontal, only vertical? Dr. Peter Thompson, an expert in perception in York University’s psychology department state that after extensive blind tests it is in fact the horizontal stripes that make you look slimmer, not vertical ones. I do not know what images and what clothing he was using in his blind test but I have always found the opposite. Maybe it is the thickness of the stripes? Maybe colour has a contributing factor? I really do not know. What I do know for sure that if you are thin with small breasts and want to make them appear bigger stripes can be your friend. Bold horizontal stripes can make your chest appear a lot larger which is never a bad thing.

Also, don’t forget that how loose or tight your clothing is can make a big difference to the perceived size of your chest. Larger beasts should be accompanied with looser clothing as it helps to fade them away from the mind of anyone catching a glimpse of you. This also works in reverse for this with small breasts and frames.

Speaking of those ladies that may be less endowed, utilising tops with frills or a halter neckline are perfect for making your chest appear a lot fuller. While black isn’t a no-no, it will, like it does to those with a larger bust, make your chest look ‘slimmer’ which isn’t what you want. While the right bra is perfect place to start, do not get too carried away. Under-wire, push-up padded bras are perfect for giving your breasts the lift and exposure they need, but woman like to go overboard and even resort to wearing a larger cup size than they are and never realise when this happens to them. As a heterosexual male I can tell with no hint of dishonesty that this happens to you all the time and not one of us dares to tell you (it’s a perfect sign of an incorrect bra size – more on that later). Also, double-breasted jackets are a great way to enhance your chest and look stylish and keep warm (no, this isn’t a horribly executed joke, it’s true! Have a look next time you’re trying on jackets at your local whatever-store).

For those who have larger busts something simple like a frilly skirt or nice A-line dress can work wonders for you. And while the mini-Lizzies enjoy their double-breasted jackets, you should be looking for single breasted blazers and wear them unbuttoned where possible to further minimise your chest. Supportive bras are obvious but that doesn’t mean sports bras – wear these only when you’re working out, I can only imagine what they are you to your breast tissue and back.

Well, that is that! I know, you’re all going to whinge and moan that I have NO idea what I’m talking about and will mostly likely exchange tits for a DoS on my web log from /b/ but I know I’m on to something because of two things: one, if there is one things heterosexual and Atari men know it’s breasts – we spend far longer looking at all type of breasts than you could ever do in a lifetime; and two, ~80% of woman are wearing the wrong size bra. I am yet to find a woman who I have told this to, tell me that they are in the majority which means either, as far as odds and probability are concerned, I’m a damn lucky man, or you really don’t have as much an idea as you think, wish and hope that you did. On that letter point you NEED to read this blog entry by Eve of Eve’s Apples, blogger, producer and distributor of linguine who found out that she was indeed wearing the wrong sized bra (feel so high-and-mighty now :P).

So have a read, have a rethink and let’s all get along. (Now that I’ve told you how to dress feel free to do the same for me).


Damn you wordpress!

Stupid WordPress likes to keep drafts but only when IT wants to. Lost half of a rather long article that I was typing that I’m not very happy about. I know, I know, better half an article than a full one lost, but still, *pokes WordPress*.


Once You Go Black, Do You Ever Go Back?

I am really getting this vibe from myself when I browse store racks or some online retailer’s pages for a new suit, jacket or coat. It’s not that black is my favourite colour, far from it, but when it comes to something like a suit it just looks so good you cannot pass it up. I was then reminded in a recent conversation with Rhonda that I used to dream of a VERY green suit (the green colour is the chartreuse closer to green than the yellow variety) that was (and probably still is) available for a quite modest price in a store in town which is similar to this suit:
Do I or don’t I? I really have no idea whether it will make me stand out of the crowd in a good way or in a morbidly embarrassingly way. This usually wouldn’t effect me except for the little fact that you usually wear a suit to special occasions and I’d hate to ruin it for every one else (especially my date) if it happens to be the latter.

On a positive note though, this double-breasted orange suit:
Salvatorre Ferragamo - Chocolate Male Style
…instilled me with some hope that such bold colours that I usually keep reserved for my tie collection are running to the suit’s themselves. That was from the spring 2010 collection (my Autumn).

At the end of the day I do think it’s safer, at least for the time being, to stick with my bold blacks (and occasional brown with sky-blue pinstripe) and leave the bold colours to my ties and boxers.