Archive for the ‘ Musings ’ Category

Creepy Mannequins Are Creepy

One feature that you have at your disposal in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is the purely cosmetic ability to place items of clothing, armour, jewellery, head-ware, et cetera, onto mannequins in player owned locations. This is all well and good for the sake of making your in-game house, a ‘home,’ but fails to fulfill this desired purpose when your mannequins are not only the creepiest things on the planet, but they move. So what is wrong with mannequins that can move around your house showing off that new fancy armour set of yours? Well: Skyrim mannequins only move when you are not looking!

Think Doctor Who’s weeping angels (except the weeping angels from the episode based on the short story and not the two part episode where the Steven Moffat bastardised and retconned them until they were no longer the most terrifying thing on the planet) and you will get a good idea of how terrifying these damn wooden statues really are. There is a large open room that has plaques to hang your shields and weapons and racks to rest your staves which more than half of the outside of the room has mannequins standing about two metres apart.

It appears that I am not the only one that think these (seemingly) inanimate humanoids are creepy as all buck as I found quite a few website documenting this very fear (in disturbing detail I might add). Is anyone else surprised that mannequins were used in nuclear testing to simulate the effects on humans? Because let us all face the facts here: mannequins are EXACTLY like humans in every way shape and form (no wonder that people made nuclear makeup – that is a post for another day).


Oh well, I will leave that here and add some pictures when I get home to do so…

Breasts in Gaming

I created the tag ‘Breasts‘ when I completed the post ‘Breasts, Body-type, and You!‘ because I figured that is that not why tags exist, one or two words to sum up the content? Now I was recent thinking to myself (actually, to be perfectly frank, it was out aloud because I talk to myself, a lot) “now I am never going to use that tag ever again which is pointless!”, until now :). See, a few years ago I had written a blog on a gaming website that caused quiet a stir (12,000 views on my blog in a matter of days not to mention more than twice that on the news entry mimicking my blog post plus the controversy of the news post context) about clothing in the MMO world entitled ‘Breasts’. It focused mainly on women as they were, on most occasions, the worst dressed out of the lot.

So, without and more talk, here it is:

Breasts. Yes, breasts. Hetero/bisexual men cannot get enough of them. Hell, even homo/bisexual woman think they’re a thing of beauty (woman talk for ‘they can’t get enough of them’). And they seem to appear, bigger and bouncier in almost all new adult orientated MMO releases.

Now I’m not against having female characters in game. I’m not against female characters having a chest (although, realistically, with their body shape and what they do in the game, a DD bra size is very unlikely), I’m not sizest! What annoys me is the ‘armour’ or lack of that’s covering our females. Here is a perfect example from both sexes on ridiculously inappropriate battle dress.

Blade and Soul

Actually, I struggle to understand where on earth this would be appropriate. The last strippers I saw started off with a hell of a lot more on than that. I hope you don’t jump in that game otherwise our little huntress is going to be worrying about more than just the opponent.

Now the this is appropriate battle dress! I wonder if female characters in C9 have the equivalent kick-arse attire. It seems that cabal has got the right idea (somewhat). It seems you can have sexiness without becoming stupid. It’s not the only MMORPG that has manage to keep some decency though – which is positive sign, no less.

One thing I do not understand with the MMORPGs is that, they try ever so hard to create a believable world wrapped in rich lore and character building and interaction. A fantasy that you can escape to a play a part, a role. A place where you can take on your own persona within this fantasy and shape the landscape of this ever changing world in which we live in. And here you are with less material on you than your average g-string. That’s what break the fantasy right away. This is even before I pick up a sword or bow or dagger or axe to go slash bash and whack things with (and one would only assume, sooner rather than later, be bash, slashed and whacked back). I can now see why people were never much of a fan of Shadowbane: TOOMUCHCLOTHING!

So now, here I am, little old Pino, begging something of game developers/designers: please put clothes on your character, male and female. We do realise that if we choose to play a female character it will contain breasts. I’m just not sure it needs to be THIS obvious.

Yours in gaming, Pino…

Belts: suspenders younger, popular and better-looking second cousin.

Throughout my youth one thing that was always on my birthday and Christmas lists was a nice dress belt. Needless-to-say, every year my ‘loved’ ones fail to deliver, time and time again. It was only when I hit my twenties that they finally heard my pleas and bought me one – about freaken time.

So that’s my belt story. It is not a very good one but what an you can do.

As far as belts go, I am much of a novice. I have always just had the ‘school-boy’ belt and the basic dress belt. It has been only recently that I was given a brown leather ‘casual’ belt as well. I do not understand big belt buckles, I do not understand those belts that are clearly not doing any belting and are sitting around looking pretty. I do not understand those ‘belt’ looking things that simply wrap around a woman’s hips and that is it. I think it is pretty safe to say the I have missed the belt boat and probably need to buy a ticket somewhere.

This is my version of a nice decent belt:Alfani Belt, Leather Reversible Dress Belt - Macy's
…how can you go wrong. It’s stylish yet it doesn’t overbear the whole outfit. It’s a nice dressy little number that is under USD$20.

And now, what Ripp thinks of belts:

  1. what do you think of belts?
    • I think belts are wonderful
  2. What makes a good belt?
    • A good belt is a belt that isn’t obnoxious, that ranges in sizes from 4+/- your own size, no spikes no chains none of that shit
  3. How important is a belt to completing your look?
    • It has to be formal, they work and they look nice
  4. Belts, big or small?
    • I prefer belts that don’t have holes especially, the ones with the little device that you can adjust to any spot on the belt


Pino…

Online Bikinis

An Australian shopping website I love to go on because of their bargains is Shopping Square.com.au. They have a hell of a lot of crap on there but they also have some pretty good bargains on some really good stuff as well. One thing they used to have a lot of (and constantly on sale and I’ve recently notice that they’ve cleared them completely, beating me to the point of this post before I even move on form the introduction) is bikinis!

Now SS isn’t the only online retailer that stocks (or in SS‘s case, stocked) them as they are about as common as those tee-shirt with whinging, bitchy slogans on that teen girls and heavily overweight mothers like to wear. Now I’ve been a man for all of my life (even more so when I was born) so I probably have no idea here, but isn’t a bikini one of those few item you REALLY want to try on first so you know you get that perfect fit? The surf is pretty violent on the calmest of days, you hardly want to find out any sizing imperfections before, or even worse, after taking a dip. Saving thirty little ones really pales in insignificances if the bikini doesn’t fit.

Again, maybe I’m just making way too many assumptions here, so I welcome your corrections on the matter.

Pino…

Tattoos

I cannot ever see myself getting a tattoo, EVER. Partly because I don’t see the appeal and partly (or some may say mostly) because of my chronic fear of needles.

But some believe that a tattoo is a thing of beauty and fashion that never grows old (just wrinkly). Tattoos I hate a despise are the fat single mothers who engrave (for use of a better word) the name of their child and its birthday into some piece of already suffering flesh. I would have thought the voyeur of tattoo laden woman was left up those members of the population who have significantly larger balls (physical or otherwise) than I (actually, funny story about big balls! When I was born I was C-ed out of my mother stomach with small coconuts as sexual organs and my mother almost went into shock – needless to say my father thought he was the bee’s knees. Anyway, they did go down, well a bit, but it’s still a story that’s brought up to make any guests that we have over at the time feel terribly uncomfortable over), at least in their wanton. UNTIL I saw this Threadless model:

Space and Time - Threadless…that’s right, super-cute Threadless model receives a full size picture! What can I say, I’ve fallen in love and I’m not ashamed to say it (unless she doesn’t like that, than she’s going to kick my arse, not that having tattoos instantly means you’re angry and want to kick everyone’s arse but seriously, anyone can kick my arse, it’s a pretty well-known fact).

Now sure, there are some girls with tatts that are hot, but none that take my breath away like my space and time girl.

{sigh}!

Pino…